Why Prussia and Dating Don't Mix
by popsiclesandpandas217
Summary: Honestly, Prussia is So he decides to take France's advice and give this whole "dating" thing a However, love does its job a little too well and soon every country has a love rival! Will Prussia have to turn from finding a match to matchmaking in order to save his own skin? Or will he have to turn to some unlikely friends to avoid plunging the world into chaos?


**Hello there nice reader~! I wrote this since I felt that Prussia needed to be in the spotlight for once (with a role he'll actually be good at playing) **

**Just some important things to know about this fic: **

**1) It WILL NOT be a PrussiaXWorld type of fic because honestly that is just way too crazy and unrealistic no matter how awesome Prussia claims to be**

**2) No eventual pairings**** decided as of yet but do expect a lot craziness with how the countries interact with each other**

**3) I DO NOT OWN HETALIA **

**OK that's basically it. On with the show!**

* * *

** Chapter 1: Never Call France**

His phone was, for once, turned off. His laptop was shut down and closed on his desk. His video games were all kept on their shelves. Everything was still and quiet as Prussia laid on his unmade bed, feet on his pillows, arms spread wide open, the unblinking blankness of his ceiling staring right back at him. Everything was silent, everything was frozen. Everything meant nothing.

"Aaarrrggghhh!" Prussia screamed.

He absolutely hated the nothingness. He imagined his voice tearing the nothingness apart until it completely vanished and the only thing there was the sound of sheer screaming. "Prussia, be quiet! I'm trying to work here!" the voice of his amazingly sympathetic brother, Germany, yelled from up the basement stairs. "But I'm bored!" Prussia yelled back, not at all caring at how pathetic he sounded. "Then go find something to do! And that doesn't mean bother me!"

Shuffling from upstairs was soon heard and the sound of a door banging shut was enough indication to Prussia that his little brother had shut himself inside his office. Prussia groaned, sat up, and placed his chin in his hand. Dusty gears slowly starting turning in his head as he tried to think of a way to get rid of his boredom. He glanced at his dormant phone, silently searching its black screen for answers.

Now what Prussia was experiencing was "a moment". Most nations when they grow up learn that life can be defined by moments. A moment can change everything, whether it's a moment to consider the benefits of making an alliance or a moment to act and turn a battle in your favor.

Weeks from now Prussia would wonder what would have happened if he hadn't taken a moment to look at his phone, a moment to yell out his frustration, or even to have been bored in the first place. Maybe he would've avoided plunging the world into chaos if he hadn't done those things. Maybe.

But, moments are fleeting and whatever a moment has allowed you to do, fate had already decided for you. And fate had decided to call France.

* * *

Of all the personifications of the world it wasn't like France was the first person Prussia thought to call. His number just happened to be the first one on Prussia's speed dial.

"Bonjour! Who is this?" France's perky yet smooth voice called out from the receiver. "Yo France, what's up?" Prussia got to the point. "So, um, I've got a bit of a problem." "Oh? Then, have no fear, Big Brother France is here!" Prussia let out a little groan. Normally, he would've played around with "Big Brother" France for a bit, but right now he wasn't in the mood.

"I'm bored," Prussia stated simply. "Is that all?" France sounded disappointed for some reason. "Really Prussia, I thought you were better than this. Normally, you would be calling from Switzerland's jailhouse phone saying how your little brother won't bail you out this time. Or that you're in the hospital because Hungary smacked you with her frying pan a little too hard after she found out what you did to Austria's piano _again_."

Prussia was just about ready to interrupt France's speech about his, um, _habits,_ but the Frenchman had already started talking again. "Wait, let me guess. You're calling because you have some revenge plan ready to be initiated on some poor nation — hopefully a certain Brit with enormously thick eyebrows." "France." "Or, or there's a new bar in town and you want me and Spain to check it out with you." "France." "OR you met some beautiful nice ladies and you need my help to—" "France!"

Prussia swore he could literally feel France jolt from his outburst. "Oui, mon ami?" France asked hesitantly. "I'm bored," Prussia said loud and clear. "Bored. That's it. No ladies. No new revenge plan. I'm just simply plain bored." He had made sure to enunciate each and every syllable in order to get his point across. There was silence on the other end and for a second Prussia thought that his friend had hung up on him, but he didn't have to wait long until France's voice came through the receiver again.

"No new bars?" France asked.

"Nope," Prussia responded.

"No schemes?" France tried again.

"Nuh-uh," Prussia said again.

"No beautiful ladies?"

Prussia sighed. "No, France. No bars, no schemes, no ladies. Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"Well, we certainly have a problem now, don't we?" Prussia nodded, not caring that France couldn't see his actions, but was glad that his friend was finally able to grasp the situation. "So what do you suggest I should do? You know, to get rid of my boredom." He heard France bristling in the background. "To be honest, mon ami, I don't really know," France said. Prussia's shoulders slumped.

"Aw, c'mon France! There must be _something_ you can suggest!" Prussia was not willing to give up; he wasn't really in the habit of doing so. He heard his friend sigh in the background. "There is something that you can do, but, no, you wouldn't agree to it."

"What? What is it?" "No, no, there's no way you would agree to it. Totally out of the question, forget I said anything." "What is it?" Prussia was starting to get annoyed and his stubbornness wouldn't let this opportunity to get by him. Finally, France gave in. "Well, I was thinking that maybe you could try the dating route in order to get rid of your boredom."

Prussia stared dumbfounded at his phone for a good thirty seconds before he could register that France had started talking again. "Now, now, Prussia, I know it may sound like a crazy idea—" "Crazy? It's completely idiotic! And that's saying something!" Prussia yelled, having finally regained his senses. "You know me France, if _I _think that an idea is idiotic then it is most likely the stupidest thing ever thought of in the world!" Prussia could hear the Frenchman sigh heavily on the other side of the phone.

"Just hear me out Prussia, please," France pleaded. Prussia fell silent for a moment, thinking that since France was his friend he might as well give him a chance to explain his stupidity. "Fine then," Prussia relented. "You can talk. But for only two minutes. Go."

"OK, so you can probably guess why I thought that dating could do you some good." "Because you're France and you also happen to be the country of love?" "Well, of course there's that, but I was actually thinking that this could help you be a little more social with your life." Prussia snorted. "I am so social with my life. I have a lot of friends!"

"Prussia, I mean this is the nicest of ways, but when was the last time you went out somewhere with someone besides me or Spain? And don't say your little brother because he doesn't count!" Prussia's mouth snapped shut at France's last comment. Damn it, France really had him in a bind. Well, he could always say that his— "And don't you dare mention your internet friends because they don't count either," France cut in.

"What! That's no fair! They technically count as friends!" "True, but have you actually went anywhere with any of them?" Here Prussia had to let out a sigh. "No." The word felt rotten on his tongue. "Exactly. See, this is what I mean. You need to get out more and that does not mean to a bar. You should go out and be with new people."

"But, France, who the hell could I go out with? I really doubt I could get along so well with a random stranger. They'll be too astonished by my awesomeness," Prussia said. He heard France let out a little chuckle. "Then how about you get to know some old acquaintances? Tell you what, the next world meeting is being hosted at my house soon and I think that with just the right words we can convince at least one country to go out with you. What am I saying? With the country of love by your side there's no way anyone could say no to a date with you! Even if you are a bit conceited."

Prussia decided to ignore the last part and thought over France's words. He didn't know exactly how he felt about having to get along with only one person for one whole night and then repeat the process over and over again, but he did know one thing. He didn't really consider himself the "affectionate" type. After all, he didn't fight in multiple wars in order to be "affectionate".

Finally, he asked, "No offense to you and your matchmaking skills, but what if this whole dating thing doesn't work? What if in the end nothing comes out of it and we're back at square one?" "Oh, do I hear a bit of hesitation in the almighty Prussia's voice?" France teased.

Prussia scowled despite himself and made sure to let his friend know how ridiculous he was to think that hesitation and the awesome Prussia could go together. At last, France said, "Don't worry, if nothing happens, then nothing happens. No harm done. Besides, what exactly do you have to lose?"

The albino readily opened his mouth, only to let it snap shut again. He could feel everything in his room steadily gazing at him, waiting for an answer. Everything was silent, everything was frozen. What did everything mean again? Oh yeah. Nothing.

He had nothing to lose.

* * *

Germany sighed as he quickened his pace towards the meeting room. He was hoping that by some miracle everybody would be focused today and they could get something done for once. He checked his watch and examined his suit to make sure he looked presentable. When everything seemed to be in place Germany let his thoughts wonder, particularly to a certain brother of his.

For the past few days Prussia had been coped up in his room, only going out whenever he needed food or to use the bathroom. Now this isn't the first time Prussia practically refused to believe that there's a world outside his bedroom, but something seemed different this time.

Whenever Germany would go and check on his brother he would always find him either on his phone or on his computer, which really isn't much of a surprise, but the only thing Prussia seemed to be doing was talking to France. During the times when he would catch snippets of their conversations, Prussia would always have this worried tone in his voice, which is unlike his brother.

This was sending warning bells in Germany's head for some reason, but he just couldn't put his finger on it. Why would Prussia only be talking to France for the last few days? Surely he would've stopped for a while to play one of his mindless video games or do something else on his computer besides video chat his friend. And if he really wanted to talk to France why not go out to a bar with him like he usually did? And why wasn't he talking to Spain as well? Usually, if France is involved Spain isn't far away. So why just France?

If that wasn't bad enough Prussia had told him he wanted to visit France's house the day before the world meeting and Germany couldn't help but feel a little suspicious. But, his brother's behavior didn't seem too out of the ordinary for Germany to have a solid reason to not let him go and he was forced to comply.

Germany sighed again and decided to think about this later. He was nearing the doors to the meeting room and he felt a little calmer when he heard that no furniture was being smashed from the other side. But, when Germany opened the door he felt like slapping himself for thinking that anything could go right during a world meeting, for what he saw was the entire world staring at a certain Prussian wearing a tux and a nervous smile on his face.

* * *

"Ah, Germany, you're here at last," France greeted, suddenly appearing at Prussia's side. "I get that you did not receive the email about everyone having to come to the world meeting a little bit early today?" Germany was a bit speechless by the sight of his brother standing at the head of the meeting table, in a _tux_ no less, and didn't reply to France's question. France, seeing that the German wasn't going to respond, said, "Ah, it does not matter now. We've already started so you might as well take your seat."

This time the words were actually able to register inside Germany's head and he hurriedly did what he was told. "So, now that we've got everyone here, does anybody have any questions?" France addressed the various countries. "Yeah, I've got one," Romano said as he stood up from his chair. "You! Potato bastard!" He pointed at Germany who had once again adopted a confused expression on his face. "Do you know anything about this?" Romano asked.

"What?" Germany replied. Romano scowled at him. "Clean up the potatoes from your ears and listen to me, you bastard. I said do you know anything about—" "I can assure you, my little brother knows nothing about my plans," Prussia interjected. "I have not mentioned this idea to him at all actually. This should be completely new to him." This time Romano pointed his scowl towards the Prussian.

"Then why bother telling us your little scheme?" he asked accusingly. "I'd hate to admit it but despite being himself your little brother actually has some sense in him. So I'm not going along with something that hasn't been run through by the one that obviously holds the brains in the family." "Romano, be nice," Italy begged quietly of his twin brother. "I'm sorry, but can someone please tell me what's going on here before I lose my patience," Germany said.

All eyes turned to France and Prussia standing at the front of the room, both of whom held calm expressions on their faces. "Go ahead France," England said, crossing his arms. "The poor lad deserves to know the absolutely spectacular idea that you and Prussia came up with this time." France sent a sneer at England's direction, which was readily returned, and said, "Fine then. See, Germany, the world today isn't going to get less hectic than it already is and I feel as if all the frantic schedules and different priorities are making everybody drift apart."

Romano let out a little snort, but otherwise stayed quiet. "So what's your point?" Germany asked. France said, "So I made up a plan that could help make everyone's stress levels go down and keep our sanity in check. This is where Prussia comes in."

Germany sneaked a questioning glance at Prussia's way, but his brother seemed adamant in neither speaking nor looking at anyone in particular. England started to roll his eyes. "Get to the point France," he said. "If you don't, we'd still be here next week hearing about you whining about everyone's lack of being all chummy with each other." France glared at his arch-rival.

"I'm getting there, Angleterre, now if you would be so kind as to let me finish. Where was I?" "You were about to tell me how my brother ties in with all of this," Germany said. "Ah yes! Prussia! He's the most important part! See, Prussia as you know isn't—um, well he can't really be considered, uh—" "I think the words you are looking for are 'not officially a country', da?" Russia said, flashing a smile at Prussia's way.

"Uh, yes what Russia said," France hesitantly agreed, albeit a bit awkwardly. Germany looked over at his brother, but if Prussia felt any anger or resentment he didn't show it. "So, anyways," France continued, trying to break the tension, "Because of this you can imagine that Prussia has a lot free time on his hands. I mean, I'm sure I speak the truth when I say that all of us wonder why he's still here, no offense to you Prussia. But until that bit of truth is uncovered our dear friend Prussia is left without purpose, without a real calling that could fill up those empty hours that are instead spent on the addictions of the internet and the violent tendencies of today's video games."

Eyes were starting to roll as France was adding exaggerated hand gestures to his melodramatic speech and even Prussia had a hard time trying to stifle his laughter. Meanwhile, Germany was starting to get nervous. Considering the topic was about him, Prussia would've instantly jumped to the chance of keeping all eyes focused only on him and ranted about his "awesome" achievements, but so far Prussia had mostly kept silent throughout France's speech.

"Alright, I see your point France," Germany spoke up. "But, what exactly does Prussia have to do with your plan?" Here France let a wide grin spread across his face and, with a dramatic flourish, spread his arms out wide as if preparing to give someone a hug. "Why, he's going to go on dates with all of you!" he exclaimed. "What?" Germany's yell could be heard all across the room. "Yup, that was pretty much everyone else's reactions to this," America said, while England nodded at his statement.

"Let me explain," France said, holding up his hand to silence Germany. "See, I have found that a good way with dealing with stress is to get away from all the work and papers and just have a fun night in town. But, it's so lonely going out by yourself so of course you would want someone by your side to share all the fun. So why not have Prussia be that certain someone? After all, he does know how to have a good time and he can honestly be good company when you get to know him."

Germany stuttered, "B-but F-France! Prussia can't—" "Oh yes he can," France interjected. "He's not a country anymore so really you don't have to worry about government conspiracies or any political trouble. But he also has had past experience being a country, erasing all the complications that go with having a relationship with a normal human, at least as far as having to hide what our true identities are. So a simple date with him won't cause any potential harm. "

"But what about—" France shook his head. "I've already told my boss about this and he thinks it's a fabulous idea! He's taking the time to talk about it to your bosses right now, but you can consider the idea official! However, if it makes you feel any better there are rules for this." The anxious look on Germany's face didn't go away for even a second.

"Considering all the countries there are in the world," France said, "It would be impossible for Prussia to have a 'steady relationship' with every one, so to speak. So, to keep things simple, and also for Prussia's sake, everyone is only allowed two dates with him." "Why only two?" America asked.

France explained, "One will be a first date kind of thing, something to test the waters between you and Prussia. If things went well the first time then you can certainly go out with him a second time. If not, then you don't have to see each other anymore. But, a third date means that there's a possibility that romance is blooming, and remember this is supposed to be a way for _everybody _to have a change of pace and have time to relax."

England snorted. "France, the country of love, is prohibiting the chance of romance happening between two people," England said. "This must be something new for you. How _are_ you coping with it?" France let out a miserable sigh and raised the back of his hand to his forehead. "I know, it's such a depressing thought letting love die before it can ever begin, but it absolutely must be done or else my outstanding plan will never work," he said. Everybody exchanged weary glances and some even shook their heads.

After a moment of over-dramatic posing, France let his hand drop to his side and exchanged his sad frown for a smile. "Well then, now that all the explaining is said and done why don't we get this over with? Who wants to be the first to go on a date with Prussia?"

Silence.

* * *

**Wow so France was basically a smooth talker in this one. And ouch! The silence must have a been a real blow to Prussia's ego; I really am a horrible person for writing that (maybe). With the way things are going how do you think Chapter 2 is going to fare? Well, I will tell you that Chapter 2 will feature a crack pairing (of sorts). If you can guess who the person Prussia's going to go on a date with before I put up the next chapter then you can have a say on whether or not your favorite character from Hetalia will go on a date with Prussia! **

**Also feel free to review! But if your doctor recommends against it I will try not to damage your health and instead give you a piece of cake for giving this fic a try in the first place. Safe journeys! **


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